Thats soooo like...

Just last night I was having a conversation with a friend who unfortunately has left our home state for good a couple hours ago. While we were reviewing the ‘good old days’ of highschool and our shared experiences, something struck me out of what he was saying and deeper meaning began revealing itself to me, and the ramifications of how deep seated some things are can be stunning.

Not too long ago a debate began (somewhere) about whether human beings were built as predators. Quite a number of people chimed in that yes, indeed, we’re predators. My opinion differed, the average singular human is not at all imposing against so many of nature’s finely honed killing machines. We’re soft, slow, and injure all too easily. In fact we’re a herd animal. Humans couldn’t take on most predators one on one, but we built pointy sticks and would gather together in units, taking out our natural enemies by shear numbers and superior cunning. Our ancestors banded together because there was no other choice. Many iterations of human generations later, we still are predominantly a herd creature and it shows.

As any Neurolinguistic Programmer will tell you, rapport is key to most all forms of positive manipulations (changework as it is often called). The subconscious mind looks for similarities with others to make them feel the same. Simple one-on-one techniques like matching and mirroring, pacing and leading, are outgrowths of this idea. A person who deliberately mismatches with another person will seem uninterested, irritating, or perhaps even hostile. Watch people in deep rapport however and you’ll notice them breathing at the same rate, finishing each others sentences, etc. If one takes a drink and the other has an empty glass, the other may start fingering or playing with the glass as they subconsciously look to maintain that similarity, that likeness. When meeting people with a similar field or region, we may ask each other if we know people in common, or areas, etc. A person can be completely different from another person but they’re driven to find some manner in which they can find a likeness and so subconsciously find safety that the stranger is not so different. It goes on to our herd behavior. We form communities, associations. All sorts of clubs of people who share the same interest, cliques regions etc. These are all outgrowths of the mind looking to herd.

This is so deep-seated it flows even into our language, which finally brings us to ‘like’. Ever ‘liked’ someone? Or something? But lets look at the word ‘like’ for a second. It literally is a comparison. Something is ‘like’ something else. There are characteristics in common. Look at the etymology of the word. “The basic meaning seems to be "to be like" (see like (adj.)), thus, "to be suitable." (OED). Eventually it grew to be a predilection for something, a preference. That preference, once again, stems from our herd mentality. Without even being consciously aware, we gravitate towards similarities, we herd. That is very powerful knowledge.

For those who are unaware, we tend to move through our lives following certain patterns. By interrupting the patterns of others there is a powerful opportunity to influence others one way or another. Afterwards, using the basic rapport building skills that we unconsciously recognize is a powerful tool for manipulation, for good or ill. I’ll admit to using it to my advantage, these are natural processes after all. In fact this sort of thing happens all the time.

Still it is one thing to understand and even recognize why things are going on the way they are in the world around you, and another to continually delve even deeper, see ‘the matrix’ for what it is. These processes penetrate us to the very core of our language. Something as simple as saying ‘like’, a word whose meaning has grown and changed into the expression of preference of today, is also a result of countless generations of our species natural mentality.