The point of PU: A Pointless Diatribe

As a fair warning to any of my readers, I’m presently loaded up on pleasant post-op drugs having been wheeled out the door a couple hours ago.

For the moment I’m fairly immobile and took the time to catch up on Be1Man’s blog (noted under my Simply Awesome links.) I would recommend any reader to find themselves making their way there as it has some fascinating social commentary in one of the expanding spheres of internet community, that of the ‘secret society’ of pickup artists. He finds fault with many of the adherents of this society, as out to impress men more than women, leading to false, stretched, or untrue, accounts by self proclaimed ‘pickup artists’ while lamenting that many don’t seem to get the point of the pursuit. While every person has their own reason for entering, they forget that its in fact a self improvement movement to enhance and enrich their social scene and develop the social skills and confidence that would serve them throughout every aspect of their lives.

These people often surrender themselves to ‘gurus’ of the seduction scene, slavishly following limited methods in an attempt to artificially represent themselves as something other than they are. Perhaps it works. I would suspect that more often than not the lack of congruency shines through. Once again, it is not about recited lines, but finding your own strength and self validation, and conveying it in the best possible way.

Contrary to the majority of the content of this blog to this point, I do not claim to be anything other than a student of NLP. I am also a student of hypnosis. I am a student of other therapies, ideas, and methodologies that serve to enhance my life and those around me, to fulfill my purpose in life. I consider myself something of a novice reality technician. Why? Because as your learn more, you discover the more there is to learn. Its been said that creativitiy is taking your knowledge of one subject and bringing that information into another, using a framework from something that may be completely different in order to get results. As one learns about any and all of these therapies; skills, insight, and knowledge can be obtained. Something I personally found enlightening was that even examining some of the models of human interaction through the lens of ‘pickup’ also granted considerable perspective. One should always expand their map of reality because then their experiences can come in so many different flavors.

In The Structure Of Magic, an early work of NLP founders Bandler and Grinder presenting what would become the Meta Model of NLP, they describe an aboriginal tribe that had only three words to describe the entirety of the visible color spectrum. As such relating to the experience of any of these peoples would require considerable amount of personal perspective added in because of the deletions inherent in their communication. Just what does that mean? Well lets put it in a way that I’m sure everyone is intimately familiar with. As little children, there are bad words that most we are not generally taught by our parents. One may remember how frustrating it could often be as an angry little kid who didn’t have the words necessary to adequately express the depths of that emotion. By the time we moved into middle school we had become exceptionally more adept and were fearless in expressing those words early and often. As we got older we eventually knew enough to become more creative. In the evolution from little children to adults, we moved from a small map of reality (or expression in this case) which as it developed allowed us to more specifically and accurately express our perceptions to others, and in turn receive information to experience. As we grew even more, then not only have we been using pre-existing descriptors but creating our own, mixing and matching from pre-existing models to create and share new experiences.
Which leads me back to what apparently is often the character of this ‘pickup community’

“ NLP is an attitude and methodology that leaves behind a trail of techniques.”- Richard Bandler

Bandler’s saying extends all too well to the concept of 'pickup'. The art of attraction is an attitude and methodology, to develop and express your own confidence and value in the best terms possible. This is what is consistent with all models, be it TMM, VAH, CA, SS, etc. They all leave behind a trail of techniques which will not work for every person every time. What is important is learning the attitude and developing your character, and then you’ll find that these models are not so mutually exclusive as advertised, and just about all of it can work for you if it is aligned with your character. You hear of people bandying around terms, I am an MMer, an SSer, etc. They LIMIT themselves to that one model, excluding themselves from other perspectives and what is really important, not the style but what it has done for your development as a person. In the end, its not about tricks and deceit, but actualizing yourself and finding your own personal contentment to bring others too. Then again I’m the guy who was accused of ‘getting my flirt on’ with the nurses the moment I was roused from slumber after my operation, what do I know?